it's one of those times when i'm feeling in limbo. kinda. things go slow, but steady i guess. they still proceed.. but i feel lost in time. like i am standing still while everything passes me by. or maybe it's just time passing me by. in any case, tomorrow's a "big" day i suppose. i doubt tonight will be my last - there just seem to be too many things that require my role. but yeah, nonetheless, the numbness helps the (lack of?) anxiety. i don't even know what i'm talking about.
there have been many small moments recently - which probably counted the most - where i feel God's affirming me. people text me or drop me an email. even one of my students said something very flattering today (& caught me by surprise.) of course another also questioned if i am a believer - to which i said yes. i wonder if i'm being a good testimony at school. i'd imagine my parents turning away from God due to my terrible behavior over winter.
happy 2013. i should learn to count my blessings. of the 30 folks i emailed, i'm pretty sure many of them were really praying for me. of which 5 of them will be around when it happens tomorrow. what more can i ask for? love. agape love. perfect love casts out all fear. into Your hands, i commit...
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